So, all went great at the mairie yesterday! Yay! I wish I had my phone so I could take a shot of the inscription letter that the lovely woman that I had been working with that I finally got again gave me. It took all of 15 minutes to process it.
With that in hand, it was lunch-time, which here in Paris for the schools, is a two hour break, so Jonathan and I headed back to the two parks that we saw on our canal walk Monday. Turns out the mairie is actually very close to that area, so we just walked from there. It was nice. Jonathan had fun with a little girl at one of the parks. And then at the second park, he ran silly with some Hasidic Jewish boys who were having playtime during there afternoon break. A park full of 6-8 year old boys is absolutely insane. Jonathan jumped right in, though. I'm just amazed at how he has no fear of the unknown - unlike his mommy:-).
We then had lunch at this place called Belushi's. It's an American-Style restaruant located throughout Europe. It has a hostel type inn associated with it (or next door) called St. Christopher's Inn. So, I heard a lot of English speaking in the restaurant. And we had a lovely German waitress who was entralled when I told her she barely had an accent. When I told her I was from NJ, she really though that was a great compliment. She blessed us with a 25% discount on our bill and also brought Jonathan a free bowl of frites!
After that, we headed to the Orange store (an internet/phone provider here in France) and finally ordered wifi,, cable and home phone service. However, they won't install it until 10/13. Egags! I was hoping to have a phone to use in the apartment by at least the end of the week. Oh well. I just hope and pray that my sweet neighbor does not block me from using his wi-fi before the 13th so that I can at least continue to email folks from home (and update this blog:->).
Then, finally, we got to the school. I suppose I delayed it a bit cause I was nervous that something would go wrong. And it sorta did: The Director was not available. However, we got amazing help from a young woman named Lucy, who was real funny and did her best to help me with the little English that she could speak, and also a lovely woman named Louise - the same woman that shooed me and Jonathan away a couple of weeks ago when we tried to check out his class while they were having recess. She's actually quite sweet.
They arranged for me to meet with the Director this morning and it looks like, from what i could understand, that Jonathan will start tomorrow (Thursday).
So, that's all the great of another day that I believe is all part of God's will and plan - His working all things for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose - EVEN when possibly the reason we are where we are wasn't totally how and why He would have gotten us there.
I'm saying that cause, I'm still in a stuck place about Jonathan's care on Saturdays and how I'm gonna negotiate picking him up at the after school program on my Thursday and Friday classes (and sometimes Mon, Tues and Wednesday classes - that happens two times: In December & Feb).
I had sent Laetitia an updated message on Monday about meeting with Sandrine and requested that she relay my email address to Sandrine and send me Sandrine's email, so that we can communicate that way (since I'm without a phone). I haven't heard back from Laetitia. I'm about to send her another email after this blog post. I was supposed to meet Sandrine today to go by her place to check it out before giving a final yes to her watching Jonathan. Maybe I'm not supposed to. Maybe knowing how anal I am or picky in general, the Lord doesn't want me to see it before Friday evening and we're just gonna reconnect literally that day to do the first overnight. I don't know. I'd much rather that not be the case though. This is my child - and yes, God is His true Father and caretaker - I'm just a stand-in, but I would much rather this situation have worked out a bit more seamless for Jonathan's sake.
And then the whole getting out of orientation issue. I emailed the student coordinator, Justin, who then relayed that to the gentleman who administrates much of the coursework for the program. He said that Matthew would get back to me. He hasn't yet. I'm sure he was real busy getting things together for the orientation and the first class (plus the other cohorts that are in session at this time across other campuses and programs). A part of me was like: They are getting tired of you and your excuses and your issues, Kim!! I'm getting tired of them, too. I think if I could be a bit more tight and disciplined about the order of my days, things would have turned out better. But that's just me again trying to control the universe. Hate to curse here, but it's apropos: Shit happens. And a lot of shit has happened to us - some due to my own ineptitude - and some to just - well, just.
In any case, I'm not gonna be able to attend orientation. And I forgot that there's this form that I need to bring to the orientation, related to my student visa and being able to be here on said visa, which Justin said would be processed today (or something about showing us what we'll need to do with it). It's called OSCII and it'll require a special appointment with the State and a medical exam - possibly. I'm not sure if ISM is part of the section of schools where some of the requirements are waived. I'm hoping so - but also, if so, me missing orientation sort of messes up finding that out today. However, I'll eventually find out -- I think.
I think. I'm just not sure about this MBA program anymore. I'm not sure I even want to do it anymore. Or that I should have applied at all. I feel surely that the Lord opened the doors for us to get to Paris, but was it for the MBA program?
If so, I really need the two issues with Saturday care and Jonathan's pick-ups after school to be supernaturally and powerfully resolved by God for me to continue and not cancel enrollment.
Let's see how re-connecting with Laetitia and Sandrine goes - or - possibly, the discussion with the Director this morning will provide an alternate route.
More to come...
Tuesday, September 30, 2014
Monday, September 29, 2014
UPS - YES!! And -- am I being too stealth??
Our UPS package arrived today! Praise God! With some blessed help from our wonderful Landlord, who called UPS France to give them specific instructions on delivery, a time frame was provided and they came within that timeframe today. The box was well worn but everything was there. It's all now properly in its place and Jonathan and I can now retire the three outfits and one pair of PJs each we've been wearing for the past 2.5 weeks.
Most of the stuff in the box is for Jonathan - his clothes, shoes, coats, hat, scarves, underwear and t-shirts. It was my goal to bring the bare minimum for myself. I'll still be wearing quite a bit of the same stuff, but I'm grateful that we have any variety. The three outfits we kept interchanging weren't all that much of a hardship, really. I need to simply be grateful we had them as well as a change of underwear. Plus, the maintenance was extremely streamlined having so few things to wash. It pays to live simply.
Nevertheless, in all my anal retentiveness to get stuff stored away in its proper place and the apartment back in tidy shape BEFORE I went to the mairie, I ended up not having enough time to get there today, so we will go tomorrow and I am believing, believing that all will go as I hope and pray: Jonathan will get enrolled and he can start on Wednesday.
That also might mean I'm gonna have to find a way to get excused from orientation on Wednesday. I'm also believing that the Lord will work that out for me.
He did greatly bless me with the ability to watch the 1957 Henry Fonda flick, 12 Angry Men (its free to view on YouTube) for my first class, Executive Leadership, which starts on Thursday. I watched it last night (after first procrastinating through a few too many, but very funny, Jimmy Fallon Late Night skits). There are four essay questions to answer about the movie that I have to complete and upload before class. While we waited for UPS, I managed to complete my essay responses with Jonathan playing in his energetic way around me - and interrupting me to help him out or to play with him. I see now that it might be possible to actually do some work when he is around - that I've progressed somewhat from my earlier stints in school where I had to have ABSOLUTE quiet and no distractions to get anything done. To be honest, it's something that I still needed while at IBM and why I performed pretty well (well, maybe too a point of burn out well) by working at home. No idle chit chat, no conversations in the hallway, no people walking by to distract me. Heaven. That was one of the many perks of my last eight years with the company: Working from home. Nothing like it.
After I unpacked, Jonathan was famished and I promised him Mickey D's (yes, again). However, the one near us did not have chicken mcnuggets (all he will eat) and they directed me to another one they said was a five minute walk away. Well, it was more like 20 minutes, but what an incredilble walk! We found ourselves on one of the many canal walks in our enchanted 19th Arrondissement. My camera is officially dead now (it died last night; insurance replacement is on its way - first to NJ - and then from NJ (via my mom) to us here in Paris), so I couldn't take any pictures, but I'll be back. It seems to me that I could just explore the 19th for the 10 months we are here and never go anywhere else and still not see all that I can see. This arrondissement is HUGE and has so many surprises. Of course, we saw two more amazing playgrounds, which I'll have to take Jonathan to. I also need to get Jonathan a scooter, cause there are so many wide open places where he can have a ball using one.
Due to me not having a phone, I had to send a Facebook message to my nephew to relay info about the phone delivery to my mom. I rarely go out on Facebook or post stuff there, but I found myself perusing a lot of the recent posts by Facebook friends and started to feel a bit guilty that I haven't let anyone outside of a small circle of friends and family know that we are in Paris. I think that I've - even before all the issues we've faced - had this feeling I might not end up making it here and have to return. The fewer people who know I am here, the less embarressment I have to experience if I return early.
However, now, I have a firmer committment to live this thing out in its entirety. Even so, I still likely will not say anything on Facebook until possibly the start of the New Year. I sense that it will be about three months of living here and getting into a regular routine with me in school and Jonathan in school and getting familiar with the area, transportation, shopping, recreational activities, and other things before I have a true sense of comfort - or can finally exhale a bit. Right now, I'm just doing a lot of hyperventilating!
By the time I do post a pic of us here and say Bon Jour from Paris, this blog should be filled with interesting tid bits that I can just point people too - and hopefully the newer posts will simply be fun and informative pieces about life here - sans the anxiety and "Oh MY God, what am I gonna do??!!" craziness.
For those already with us - thanks so much for your patience with me and your support and prayers! Jonathan and I so appreciate and love you!!
Most of the stuff in the box is for Jonathan - his clothes, shoes, coats, hat, scarves, underwear and t-shirts. It was my goal to bring the bare minimum for myself. I'll still be wearing quite a bit of the same stuff, but I'm grateful that we have any variety. The three outfits we kept interchanging weren't all that much of a hardship, really. I need to simply be grateful we had them as well as a change of underwear. Plus, the maintenance was extremely streamlined having so few things to wash. It pays to live simply.
Nevertheless, in all my anal retentiveness to get stuff stored away in its proper place and the apartment back in tidy shape BEFORE I went to the mairie, I ended up not having enough time to get there today, so we will go tomorrow and I am believing, believing that all will go as I hope and pray: Jonathan will get enrolled and he can start on Wednesday.
That also might mean I'm gonna have to find a way to get excused from orientation on Wednesday. I'm also believing that the Lord will work that out for me.
He did greatly bless me with the ability to watch the 1957 Henry Fonda flick, 12 Angry Men (its free to view on YouTube) for my first class, Executive Leadership, which starts on Thursday. I watched it last night (after first procrastinating through a few too many, but very funny, Jimmy Fallon Late Night skits). There are four essay questions to answer about the movie that I have to complete and upload before class. While we waited for UPS, I managed to complete my essay responses with Jonathan playing in his energetic way around me - and interrupting me to help him out or to play with him. I see now that it might be possible to actually do some work when he is around - that I've progressed somewhat from my earlier stints in school where I had to have ABSOLUTE quiet and no distractions to get anything done. To be honest, it's something that I still needed while at IBM and why I performed pretty well (well, maybe too a point of burn out well) by working at home. No idle chit chat, no conversations in the hallway, no people walking by to distract me. Heaven. That was one of the many perks of my last eight years with the company: Working from home. Nothing like it.
After I unpacked, Jonathan was famished and I promised him Mickey D's (yes, again). However, the one near us did not have chicken mcnuggets (all he will eat) and they directed me to another one they said was a five minute walk away. Well, it was more like 20 minutes, but what an incredilble walk! We found ourselves on one of the many canal walks in our enchanted 19th Arrondissement. My camera is officially dead now (it died last night; insurance replacement is on its way - first to NJ - and then from NJ (via my mom) to us here in Paris), so I couldn't take any pictures, but I'll be back. It seems to me that I could just explore the 19th for the 10 months we are here and never go anywhere else and still not see all that I can see. This arrondissement is HUGE and has so many surprises. Of course, we saw two more amazing playgrounds, which I'll have to take Jonathan to. I also need to get Jonathan a scooter, cause there are so many wide open places where he can have a ball using one.
Due to me not having a phone, I had to send a Facebook message to my nephew to relay info about the phone delivery to my mom. I rarely go out on Facebook or post stuff there, but I found myself perusing a lot of the recent posts by Facebook friends and started to feel a bit guilty that I haven't let anyone outside of a small circle of friends and family know that we are in Paris. I think that I've - even before all the issues we've faced - had this feeling I might not end up making it here and have to return. The fewer people who know I am here, the less embarressment I have to experience if I return early.
However, now, I have a firmer committment to live this thing out in its entirety. Even so, I still likely will not say anything on Facebook until possibly the start of the New Year. I sense that it will be about three months of living here and getting into a regular routine with me in school and Jonathan in school and getting familiar with the area, transportation, shopping, recreational activities, and other things before I have a true sense of comfort - or can finally exhale a bit. Right now, I'm just doing a lot of hyperventilating!
By the time I do post a pic of us here and say Bon Jour from Paris, this blog should be filled with interesting tid bits that I can just point people too - and hopefully the newer posts will simply be fun and informative pieces about life here - sans the anxiety and "Oh MY God, what am I gonna do??!!" craziness.
For those already with us - thanks so much for your patience with me and your support and prayers! Jonathan and I so appreciate and love you!!
Saturday, September 27, 2014
Our God the GREAT Architect of blessings!
So, finally a blog post that is not dour! To God be the Glory is what I want to exclaim!!
I said in the last post that I hoped to have clarity about what to do before the end of the weekend. I also mentioned in either the last post or the one before that about how the Lord had blessed us with connections to some sisters that are here in Paris through a connection I have with a woman who is in the UK, who has befriended one of the sisters that now lives there with her husband and baby girl. Laetitia, the sister in the UK, connected me and Jonathan with her sisters Sandrine, Christiane and Florence who are here in Paris. Earlier in the week we chatted through Whatsap (please download it if you have not yet - free texting between members!) and I arranged a meeting today with Sandrine. Sandrine works in Paris and has a little boy who is 2.5 named Thimothe. She suggested we meet today at an awesome park in the 16th Arrondissement called Le Jardin d'Acclimation, which Google Translate translates into "The Zoo". It is way more than that. I'll have to go back with Jonathan and spend a whole day there - and go back again - and again. The Park has zoo animals, really cool playgrounds, amusement park rides, restaurants, bicycles for small tykes to rent, and just loads of fun, fun, fun. Simply amazing. If I ever thought I would stay in Paris beyond school, I would primarily do so because of all the great things they have here for children. If only they had the fraction of this stuff in NJ. Another cool thing is that these parks with the amusement rides stay open ALL YEAR LONG! They don't shut down in the winter months. They just close and hour or so earlier. Amazing!
So, meeting sweet Sandrine and Thimothe and Murphy were a blessing enough - and now I'm realizing how daft I am: I didn't take a picture of them! I'm such a non-picture taker so please forgive me. I will get better as this blog progresses. How stupid of me - ugh! Anyway, it appears I will have a lot of opportunities to take pictures of them because Sandrine has graciously offered to watch Jonathan on the Saturdays that I am in class! In fact, she will take him home with her on Friday evenings and he will stay overnight with them and I will pick him up on Saturdays after class! Is that not God or what?! My spirit feels right about the whole situation. Sandrine is a Christian and I loved how she was with both boys today. Thimothe was a bit tired after a long night and was very fussy and she was great with him. She requested I come see her home to make sure I am okay with how they live, so I will do that on Wednesday, after my orientation at the school, and hopefully after Jonathan's first or second day at school (more on that in a bit). It's gonna be a little awkward doing the transfer, because, though she works in Paris, it's not near where we live in the 19th, and her home is in a suburb just outside of Paris. Plus, on Fridays, I'll be in class till 6 (though I'll be requesting to leave at 5:30) and will get home to pick up Jonathan at after-school care around 6-6:15. I'm thnking I will need to simply take him to her house myself and then request that we do a hand off at a central location on Saturday evenings after class.
Whatever the case, God has opened this door and He'll iron out the details! I told her how much I would pay and she looked at me like I was crazy. She doesn't want to be paid! She wants to be able to practice her English with me and for Thimothe to have an English-speaking playmate so he can get familiar with it as well. I will benefit from Sandrine's French-speaking and so will Jonathan, by playing with Thimothe and being cared for by Sandrine! What a blessing from God. Is He not the Great Architect??!!
So, the last thing still standing is school. I decided on Friday to go back to the mairie and prayerfully get the agent I had been working with, who had no problem with the papers that I had given her. If I get her, I should get the inscription letter on Monday and be able to go to the school on Monday afternoon or at the latest Tuesday, to get Jonathan enrolled. My prayer is that he is in school by Wednesday. I will have to leave my school's orientation early on Wednesday to pick up Jonathan, because he'll only be in school half-day. I hope adminstration understands - Lord, please make them understand. Thursday is my first day of class and he will have to be in school all day (8:30 - 4:30) and then after school care till about 6 - 6:15.
I decided I would just let go and let God - as the common saying goes - but no lip service: I'm actually gonna do it. I'm feeling more convinced that He did bring us here and He will do the work in and through us that He needs to do - whether I like it or not. Today I liked it a LOT. Of course, me being me, I'll be struggling not to fight Him, not to doubt, and not to try to figure it out on my own.
Lord - continue to please have mercy on me!!
Oh -- and make sure UPS comes either before OR after I do what I have to do at the mairie on Monday. Please don't let me miss them this last time or they're gonna seize our stuff in customs!! Please, Lord, Please!!
Pray for us!!:-) We're praying for you all!
I said in the last post that I hoped to have clarity about what to do before the end of the weekend. I also mentioned in either the last post or the one before that about how the Lord had blessed us with connections to some sisters that are here in Paris through a connection I have with a woman who is in the UK, who has befriended one of the sisters that now lives there with her husband and baby girl. Laetitia, the sister in the UK, connected me and Jonathan with her sisters Sandrine, Christiane and Florence who are here in Paris. Earlier in the week we chatted through Whatsap (please download it if you have not yet - free texting between members!) and I arranged a meeting today with Sandrine. Sandrine works in Paris and has a little boy who is 2.5 named Thimothe. She suggested we meet today at an awesome park in the 16th Arrondissement called Le Jardin d'Acclimation, which Google Translate translates into "The Zoo". It is way more than that. I'll have to go back with Jonathan and spend a whole day there - and go back again - and again. The Park has zoo animals, really cool playgrounds, amusement park rides, restaurants, bicycles for small tykes to rent, and just loads of fun, fun, fun. Simply amazing. If I ever thought I would stay in Paris beyond school, I would primarily do so because of all the great things they have here for children. If only they had the fraction of this stuff in NJ. Another cool thing is that these parks with the amusement rides stay open ALL YEAR LONG! They don't shut down in the winter months. They just close and hour or so earlier. Amazing!
So, meeting sweet Sandrine and Thimothe and Murphy were a blessing enough - and now I'm realizing how daft I am: I didn't take a picture of them! I'm such a non-picture taker so please forgive me. I will get better as this blog progresses. How stupid of me - ugh! Anyway, it appears I will have a lot of opportunities to take pictures of them because Sandrine has graciously offered to watch Jonathan on the Saturdays that I am in class! In fact, she will take him home with her on Friday evenings and he will stay overnight with them and I will pick him up on Saturdays after class! Is that not God or what?! My spirit feels right about the whole situation. Sandrine is a Christian and I loved how she was with both boys today. Thimothe was a bit tired after a long night and was very fussy and she was great with him. She requested I come see her home to make sure I am okay with how they live, so I will do that on Wednesday, after my orientation at the school, and hopefully after Jonathan's first or second day at school (more on that in a bit). It's gonna be a little awkward doing the transfer, because, though she works in Paris, it's not near where we live in the 19th, and her home is in a suburb just outside of Paris. Plus, on Fridays, I'll be in class till 6 (though I'll be requesting to leave at 5:30) and will get home to pick up Jonathan at after-school care around 6-6:15. I'm thnking I will need to simply take him to her house myself and then request that we do a hand off at a central location on Saturday evenings after class.
Whatever the case, God has opened this door and He'll iron out the details! I told her how much I would pay and she looked at me like I was crazy. She doesn't want to be paid! She wants to be able to practice her English with me and for Thimothe to have an English-speaking playmate so he can get familiar with it as well. I will benefit from Sandrine's French-speaking and so will Jonathan, by playing with Thimothe and being cared for by Sandrine! What a blessing from God. Is He not the Great Architect??!!
So, the last thing still standing is school. I decided on Friday to go back to the mairie and prayerfully get the agent I had been working with, who had no problem with the papers that I had given her. If I get her, I should get the inscription letter on Monday and be able to go to the school on Monday afternoon or at the latest Tuesday, to get Jonathan enrolled. My prayer is that he is in school by Wednesday. I will have to leave my school's orientation early on Wednesday to pick up Jonathan, because he'll only be in school half-day. I hope adminstration understands - Lord, please make them understand. Thursday is my first day of class and he will have to be in school all day (8:30 - 4:30) and then after school care till about 6 - 6:15.
I decided I would just let go and let God - as the common saying goes - but no lip service: I'm actually gonna do it. I'm feeling more convinced that He did bring us here and He will do the work in and through us that He needs to do - whether I like it or not. Today I liked it a LOT. Of course, me being me, I'll be struggling not to fight Him, not to doubt, and not to try to figure it out on my own.
Lord - continue to please have mercy on me!!
Oh -- and make sure UPS comes either before OR after I do what I have to do at the mairie on Monday. Please don't let me miss them this last time or they're gonna seize our stuff in customs!! Please, Lord, Please!!
Pray for us!!:-) We're praying for you all!
Thursday, September 25, 2014
Impasse
So, the day started not so great and got a bit worst as it progressed.
UPS had stated they would deliver the box today, so Jonathan and I stayed in for most of the morning waiting for delivery. After waiting for a couple of hours, I decided to check the tracking status, and saw a message from 9:15 AM stating that the receiver (me) had requested delivery at a more appropriate time and they would attempt said new scheduled delivery on Friday. Well, I never made such a request. However, there was nothing I can do about it at that point. We will have to stay in tomorrow and see if it arrives. Though at this point I'm thinking it's a moot action - ill conceieved, and fool-hearty - like the rest of this journey we have made over the pond...
In total, about hree hours were wasted. Around 12:30 PM we set out for the mairie to finally get Jonathan enrolled in school. We get on the bus that takes you directly to the mairie. Halfway there, the bus veers down a different street. Me not knowing the bus system, assumed that the driver was aware of a detour issue ahead and was taking a different route. However, that was not the case. He kept driving and driving. Jonathan, prayerfully, was enjoying the ride and quite content - no episodes on the bus - Praise God - as we continued weaving in and out of roads I'd never been on with this particular bus. Well, eventually I realize we are now in the 20th Arrondissement, way beyond our original destination. At a stop, Jonathan notices a little park with a playground. So, to help me to stay composed, I tell him, okay, let's get off so you can play a little. It turned out to be a lovely playground and we spent about an hour there.
We then headed to a Mickey D's that was conveniently around the corner. From there, I saw a sign for that famous cemetary where Jim Morrison (from The Doors) is buried: Pere Lachaise.
So we took a stroll there and walked through part of it. However, because I did not have a map detailing where particular famous cemetary plots were located, I decided that I would come back later (if I end up staying that is) to stroll on my own, without Jonathan having to go bumpity bump in his carriage over the beautiful, but aged cobblestone pathways. I suppose I should have taken a pic of those at least, but hopefully...maybe, later.
After our unexpected time in the 20th, we found our way back to the bus and this time I asked the bus driver if it would end up taking us to the mairie in the 19th and he said yes. So we boarded. Eventually we got there. This is where a not so great day (with the unexpected joy of the playground mitigating things somewhat), got a bit worst.
The two other times I've gone to the mairie, I was helped by a lovely, english-speaking agent. Well, this time she was busy with another family. Instead, I got a more disagreeable woman, and she made it clear that I would not be able to enroll Jonathan without a specific letter from his Father stating that he could be registered in a French school. The other woman had told me yesterday, you have all that you need, just return tomorrow (since they don't do registrations on Wednesday) and I will process it for you and give you the inscription to take to the school.
Well, because I got a different agent, Jonathan will not be able to get enrolled, at least not in time for me to start school next week so that he's in school himself and in the after school program, as well. To get a letter from Kay then get it translated - well, I just at this point don't know if I want to deal with it. I also have this gut feeling that if we are to stay and Jonathan is to attend school, it should not be in a public school - and definitely not in our neighborhood, which I realize now after seeing other parts of the 19th and the 20th today, is essentially the ghetto. A nice, multi-cultural ghetto, but ghetto nonetheless. And in general I don't have a problem with that - I love the energy and diversity - but it does give me pause in terms of the quality of education and the kind of students Jonathan will be with - students who I've already mentioned haven't been the friendliest to him at our building or today in the playground that I discovered a few steps from our apartment. And he's been more than friendly - going up to children to say hi (or bon jour) and trying to enter into play with them. I thank God he's got this real tough, I don't care what you think spirit about him. If they ignore him, he just goes about his business being happy and playing.
And as I mentioned above, we discovered a playground right near our building! That find certainly helped to make a dour day a bit brighter. I usually go left out of our building to head wherever we are headed for that day, since that 's the direction of the metro and bus stops. However, I saw that there is an above ground tram system to the right and decided to see where it originates. Well, walking that way, we discovered a brand new playground, similar to the one we visited earlier in the day in the 20th! What a find!
It also has weight-bearing weight lifting equipement (I didn't take pics of that). Would be a great way to get back into shape - again, if I stay.
So, in terms of the school thing. I don't know. I don't believe we should move forward with the public school. I was feeling that a catholic school would work better - and they tend to be cheaper tuition-wise than other private schools in Paris. However, what schools I could find don't have adequate info online and I can't figure out exactly where they are located in terms of our apartment and me being able to drop Jonathan off in time for me to get to class in time, on the days I have class.
I am at an impasse. It seems to me this last thing is the last thing. Even after the bright spot yesterday of being connected to some sisters here who are African heritage but Parisian-raised, who I will meet this weekend and would possibly be able to assist with Saturday care for Jonathan on those days when I have Saturday classes - which I thought was my last true dilemma remaining here. I was connected to them through a lovely woman who I got connected to through a member of my online lifegroup - Joyce. Joyce is in the UK and so is Laetitia and when Joyce found out that Laetitia was from Paris, she hooked us together. We've been emailing and I mentioned my issue with Saturday care and she said she has three sisters in Paris who might be able to help! That put me to sleep with an extra portion of peace. And then today happened.
So, we have the joy of new playgrounds and an unexpected visit to a destination in Paris I was hoping to eventually get to - but I have no idea how I will be able to stay here and attend school if Jonathan is not enrolled in school himself. State-run daycares (creches) are not a possiblity - people are on waiting lists for years to get into one of those. I just don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
God - are we to return to NJ? Am I just being stubborn and not reading the signs?? Was this all for naught. If so, yes, I'm embarressed and ashamed, but Jonathan's welfare is what's most important. If things aren't clear by the end of the weekend related to how this can work out, I will book my tickets home on Monday.
Show me Lord. PLEASE speak to me clearly so that I make the right decision.
UPS had stated they would deliver the box today, so Jonathan and I stayed in for most of the morning waiting for delivery. After waiting for a couple of hours, I decided to check the tracking status, and saw a message from 9:15 AM stating that the receiver (me) had requested delivery at a more appropriate time and they would attempt said new scheduled delivery on Friday. Well, I never made such a request. However, there was nothing I can do about it at that point. We will have to stay in tomorrow and see if it arrives. Though at this point I'm thinking it's a moot action - ill conceieved, and fool-hearty - like the rest of this journey we have made over the pond...
In total, about hree hours were wasted. Around 12:30 PM we set out for the mairie to finally get Jonathan enrolled in school. We get on the bus that takes you directly to the mairie. Halfway there, the bus veers down a different street. Me not knowing the bus system, assumed that the driver was aware of a detour issue ahead and was taking a different route. However, that was not the case. He kept driving and driving. Jonathan, prayerfully, was enjoying the ride and quite content - no episodes on the bus - Praise God - as we continued weaving in and out of roads I'd never been on with this particular bus. Well, eventually I realize we are now in the 20th Arrondissement, way beyond our original destination. At a stop, Jonathan notices a little park with a playground. So, to help me to stay composed, I tell him, okay, let's get off so you can play a little. It turned out to be a lovely playground and we spent about an hour there.
We then headed to a Mickey D's that was conveniently around the corner. From there, I saw a sign for that famous cemetary where Jim Morrison (from The Doors) is buried: Pere Lachaise.
So we took a stroll there and walked through part of it. However, because I did not have a map detailing where particular famous cemetary plots were located, I decided that I would come back later (if I end up staying that is) to stroll on my own, without Jonathan having to go bumpity bump in his carriage over the beautiful, but aged cobblestone pathways. I suppose I should have taken a pic of those at least, but hopefully...maybe, later.
After our unexpected time in the 20th, we found our way back to the bus and this time I asked the bus driver if it would end up taking us to the mairie in the 19th and he said yes. So we boarded. Eventually we got there. This is where a not so great day (with the unexpected joy of the playground mitigating things somewhat), got a bit worst.
The two other times I've gone to the mairie, I was helped by a lovely, english-speaking agent. Well, this time she was busy with another family. Instead, I got a more disagreeable woman, and she made it clear that I would not be able to enroll Jonathan without a specific letter from his Father stating that he could be registered in a French school. The other woman had told me yesterday, you have all that you need, just return tomorrow (since they don't do registrations on Wednesday) and I will process it for you and give you the inscription to take to the school.
Well, because I got a different agent, Jonathan will not be able to get enrolled, at least not in time for me to start school next week so that he's in school himself and in the after school program, as well. To get a letter from Kay then get it translated - well, I just at this point don't know if I want to deal with it. I also have this gut feeling that if we are to stay and Jonathan is to attend school, it should not be in a public school - and definitely not in our neighborhood, which I realize now after seeing other parts of the 19th and the 20th today, is essentially the ghetto. A nice, multi-cultural ghetto, but ghetto nonetheless. And in general I don't have a problem with that - I love the energy and diversity - but it does give me pause in terms of the quality of education and the kind of students Jonathan will be with - students who I've already mentioned haven't been the friendliest to him at our building or today in the playground that I discovered a few steps from our apartment. And he's been more than friendly - going up to children to say hi (or bon jour) and trying to enter into play with them. I thank God he's got this real tough, I don't care what you think spirit about him. If they ignore him, he just goes about his business being happy and playing.
And as I mentioned above, we discovered a playground right near our building! That find certainly helped to make a dour day a bit brighter. I usually go left out of our building to head wherever we are headed for that day, since that 's the direction of the metro and bus stops. However, I saw that there is an above ground tram system to the right and decided to see where it originates. Well, walking that way, we discovered a brand new playground, similar to the one we visited earlier in the day in the 20th! What a find!
It also has weight-bearing weight lifting equipement (I didn't take pics of that). Would be a great way to get back into shape - again, if I stay.
So, in terms of the school thing. I don't know. I don't believe we should move forward with the public school. I was feeling that a catholic school would work better - and they tend to be cheaper tuition-wise than other private schools in Paris. However, what schools I could find don't have adequate info online and I can't figure out exactly where they are located in terms of our apartment and me being able to drop Jonathan off in time for me to get to class in time, on the days I have class.
I am at an impasse. It seems to me this last thing is the last thing. Even after the bright spot yesterday of being connected to some sisters here who are African heritage but Parisian-raised, who I will meet this weekend and would possibly be able to assist with Saturday care for Jonathan on those days when I have Saturday classes - which I thought was my last true dilemma remaining here. I was connected to them through a lovely woman who I got connected to through a member of my online lifegroup - Joyce. Joyce is in the UK and so is Laetitia and when Joyce found out that Laetitia was from Paris, she hooked us together. We've been emailing and I mentioned my issue with Saturday care and she said she has three sisters in Paris who might be able to help! That put me to sleep with an extra portion of peace. And then today happened.
So, we have the joy of new playgrounds and an unexpected visit to a destination in Paris I was hoping to eventually get to - but I have no idea how I will be able to stay here and attend school if Jonathan is not enrolled in school himself. State-run daycares (creches) are not a possiblity - people are on waiting lists for years to get into one of those. I just don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
God - are we to return to NJ? Am I just being stubborn and not reading the signs?? Was this all for naught. If so, yes, I'm embarressed and ashamed, but Jonathan's welfare is what's most important. If things aren't clear by the end of the weekend related to how this can work out, I will book my tickets home on Monday.
Show me Lord. PLEASE speak to me clearly so that I make the right decision.
Wednesday, September 24, 2014
Still straddling
Even though Jonathan's behavior has given me some instight into my own weaknesses, it's still been a struggle to handle it and stay in peace. One more fit on a train and I think I'm gonna lose it. Then, today, I got another delay with school enrollment (they don't do registrations on Wednesdays, which is 1/2 day school or no school for most of Paris), making me think that's just God's way of telling me that this whole deal was my plan alone and not His will at all and as long as I try to gut it out, it'll just get harder and harder. Plus, because today was 1/2 day school, I was able to see the assortment of children coming out of the school that Jonathan will be attending, and they all seemed so rough! Jonathan is no wilting flower - but he doesn't know the language, is very boistrous and friendly - and I'm nervous that he'll get into this school, with these rough, seemingly unfriendly students, and not so sweet teachers (they're not lovey dovey preschool instructors like in the US) and it will completely deflate him. I want him to excel - to truly enjoy the experience. With all that's transpired so far, I'm just not sure that will happen. It has JUST been a little over a week. I start classes next Thursday. Maybe it's just a matter of Jonathan being in school (and hopefully liking it and not getting bullied!) and me being in my routine that will help.
I did enjoy some time with Jonathan at Parc du Lac-Beauchamp again. I had fun pushing Jonathan on an old-fashioned iron swing. It cost 1.50 euro for 5 minutes, and I noticed that the vendor sorta cheated me: Only I was timed for my 5 minutes, while the native Parisians just had their clock sit at 5:00 without ever moving. However, I'm just too tired at this point to argue and I really didn't want to push Jonathan for more than 5 minutes, nor did he want to be on the swing for more than 5 minutes. So, I suppose I wasn't truly cheated-cheated.
We then had lunch at this cute, little, diner-like cafe that will become my favorite little spot (if I decide to stay). I just loved it and my mixte (ham and cheese with butter on French bread) was the best I've had so far. See the pretty menu below. Jonathan actually ate one of his two, HUGE hot dogs. The hot dogs are a bit strange looking here and have a distince taste - not sure what they're made of - will have to investigate. Frites (fries) were also really good and for 4.90 euro, I had myslef a good 25 ml (about two glasses) of white wine. Definitely took the edge off!
I had included pics of Jonathan's plate of mostly eaten food, the restaurant's pretty menu and a video of me pushing Jonathan on the screen, but I must not have uploaded them correctly, cause they were not showing up. I had to remove them and they were originally on a phone that you'll read about later which went the way of death, and I had not uploaded them to Picasa web, so I'm unable to re-post.:-(
I did enjoy some time with Jonathan at Parc du Lac-Beauchamp again. I had fun pushing Jonathan on an old-fashioned iron swing. It cost 1.50 euro for 5 minutes, and I noticed that the vendor sorta cheated me: Only I was timed for my 5 minutes, while the native Parisians just had their clock sit at 5:00 without ever moving. However, I'm just too tired at this point to argue and I really didn't want to push Jonathan for more than 5 minutes, nor did he want to be on the swing for more than 5 minutes. So, I suppose I wasn't truly cheated-cheated.
We then had lunch at this cute, little, diner-like cafe that will become my favorite little spot (if I decide to stay). I just loved it and my mixte (ham and cheese with butter on French bread) was the best I've had so far. See the pretty menu below. Jonathan actually ate one of his two, HUGE hot dogs. The hot dogs are a bit strange looking here and have a distince taste - not sure what they're made of - will have to investigate. Frites (fries) were also really good and for 4.90 euro, I had myslef a good 25 ml (about two glasses) of white wine. Definitely took the edge off!
I had included pics of Jonathan's plate of mostly eaten food, the restaurant's pretty menu and a video of me pushing Jonathan on the screen, but I must not have uploaded them correctly, cause they were not showing up. I had to remove them and they were originally on a phone that you'll read about later which went the way of death, and I had not uploaded them to Picasa web, so I'm unable to re-post.:-(
Anyway, until my next vent...
Monday, September 22, 2014
Coming face to face with my flesh...
So, it has now been a full week that we have been in Paris. I thought I would give a low down on all the details of our journey here and the many events that took place from the point we landed until now - but it's all quite sordid, to tell you the truth. Well, sordid mainly because I've been dealing with a lot of anger, frustration, disappointment, fear, dread, regret, and just about every negative emotion that a person could deal with in one week without having a nervous breakdown. I think I actually might have had one today. Jonathan, being his rambunctious, out of control self - which he has been all week - knocked my new cell phone out of my hand (the one that is now working - praise God - just needed to be charged) and completely cracked the screen. All of my frustration over the past week came to the head and I knocked him down with a slap - in the street - called him an idiot out loud - picked him up and threw him in a chair - and then got reprimanded by a young woman who told me to stop abusing my child - it's only a phone.
And she was right.
This week has been hell. That's about the best way to describe it. I'm still straddling the decision of just packing up and going back to NJ - cutting my losses while I can, and just not caring about all the money and time already invested.
Why:
Well, without going into too much detail, here's a list of the stuff I've dealt with this week:
1. Go to get our luggage and Jonathan's stroller does not show up. I'm beside myself because there is no way I can navigate the airport and two train stations without it. I wait in line at the luggage service area for about an hour with a 3 year old who doesn't want to stand still and keeps running away for me to go after him, only to be finally told that the carriage is likely in the over-sized luggage area -- and indeed it was.
2. On the train rides, Jonathan is absolutely his insane self multiplied by 10 - likely due to jet lag, making it a stressful trip for me, because Europeans are extremely quiet and every extra sound sounds like an earthquake. I praise God that he made the Eurostar train trip seem like it was an hour rather than 3.5 hours. We got to Paris from London so fast - and Jonathan was loud, loud, loud the whole time - making one passenger get up and change his seat. However, the plane ride here was wonderful. He pretty much slept the whole way there and when awake, was quite pleasant.
3. All goes well getting to the hotel - a very nice hotel, in fact. But looks are deceiving. The first morning after we slept there, I notice bug bites on Jonathan's neck. Well, it was quite warm in Paris (it was all week until Sunday) so I thought it might just be mosquitoes or noseeums. Well, the next day, I wake up with bug bites on my body. Still didn't think too much of it. Finally, the last night, I had to scratch a bite on my stomach. At that point I'm thinking it must be bed bugs. I start to investigate, using the light from my cell phone. Lo and behold, i isolate the little bugger! I bring it to the front desk. They agree to not charge us for all the meals we've eaten (I had prepaid for the hotel room), but didn't refund the funds paid for the room. I don't fight it - I just want out of there and for them to launder the clothes that were not closed up in my suitcase. They do so. We leave to go to our scrubbed clean apartment.
4. Speaking of the apartment, we visit it on Monday and Herve is there and he is such a lovely man. So helpful and kind. I love the layout of the apartment. It's even nicer in person. However, it is FILTHY! Well, to my standards filthy. Herve has done his best to get it ready, but I have to spend Tuesday scrubbing, scrubbing, scrubbing it to get rid of 4 years of grime. However, praise God, it finally gets to where I'm comfortable. We move in on Wednesday.
5. The bed bug bites are over but the after effects plague us for the rest of the week. Even today I'm still scratching and we have marks and scars all over our bodies. I just feel disgusting.
6. My package of items that I sent via UPS - basically all of our clothes and shoes and coats and a lot of Jonathan's toys - have yet to arrive. They claim that the receiver name does not match who lives in the apartment. I tried to get that fixed today and was expecting a call from UPS at 4 EST - but missed it, in my funk about the phone getting shattered.
7. The very sweet Student Coordinator at the school willingly offered to help me with getting Jonathan enrolled at school and to get my bank account open here. However, I managed to miss both appointments to meet him - totally inconveniencing him. I managed to still do what I needed to do at the Marie, where the Lord fortunately blessed me with an English speaking rep who was very helpful (each arrondissement (district) in Paris has an administrative center to handle stuff like school enrollments called mairies). She informed me that I had to get Jonathan's birth certificate translated as well as the approval letter from his dad that he could be in Paris with me AND that I needed better proof that I was living where I said I was living than a copy of the lease. She suggested I purchase apartment insurance for that proof. I was also told I would need that to get cable and WiFi set up in the apartment. So, thankfully, Herve found a translator and I picked up the translations today in her lovely apartment in the 10th (the outside belied just how beautiful it would be on the inside - all white walls with red accents - a large red, farm-sized table from which she worked, a balcony covered with red gardenias, wide-planked oak floors, lightly patinaed with age - and she was lovely and so sweet). Herve also got me connected to his insurance agent, so I will get apartment insurance that way. I'll head back to the mairie on Wednesday to get Jonathan enrolled in school and hopefully he can start on Monday at the latest.
Update: Jonathan did not start school today as planned, which really hinders my ability to get started with my 15 page pre-test that I have to complete and the pre-reading for the first class - Exec Leadership - that starts on 10/2 - as well as the first assignment I have to do before class, which is watch "12 Angry Men" and answer some essay questions. I was hoping to tackle all of that this week. However, not possible with Jonathan in toe. However, maybe the Lord just wanted us to have another week together in the city at the start. Maybe I have to believe that as with everything else I've ever tackled the Lord is the one that's really doing the work. He'll get my class assignments done through me when it has to be done - I just have to be the hands and head and mouth that He works through. It's not me!
And about Jonathan and my subject line for this post: "Coming face to face with my flesh". I want to think that he is causing me stress with his misbehavior - not listening - ignoring me when I call him - running into traffic - having fits on trains - talking loud in public places - yelling and screeching in the apartment (and everywhere else). However, it's not him. He's just being an active, intelligent 3-year old who is bored silly. He wants the activity of school and being around other children. He needs it. He's a social butterfly who loves people. Even here he says hello to everyone (and not all French people are amenable to that - however, I've found that MOST are extremely kind and very helpful to mom's with children and absolutely dote on Jonathan - I am so grateful for their kindness).
Anyway, much of my stress and the inability to really negotiate all that has to be negotiated when you are getting acclimated and situated in a new culture has to do with straight up sinful, prideful, selfish Kim. Period. I suppose the Lord had to bring me across the pond to see just how much I need to be fixed in that area. Paris is TRULY crucifying my flesh - and I can only imagine how much more once I start classes.
Nonetheless, I regret how I've treated Jonathan all week. It's been hard to get anything done because he acts out everywhere we go. I also feel like he's in control and I'm the child. My activities are dictated by what he wants to do when he wants to. If he's finished eating, then I need to be finished, or we have a tantrum. If he wants to leave the store, then we have to leave or a tantrum - screaming, screeching, running away, falling down on the ground. However, like I said above - he's being a typical 3 - year old - maybe more strong-willed then most - and more spoiled - but me calling him names and slapping him so hard that he falls on the ground...well, there is no excuse for that, no matter how much he acts out.
I'm gonna do my best to receive the forgiveness from Jesus that He died on the cross to give me and keep it moving. I can't take back the words, the pushes or the hits (yeah, I've pushed him too this week - with his "Stop pushing me!" retorts) but the blood of Jesus can erase the effects. I have to believe so. I'm thankful that there is not much I remember before 4 years of age. I'm hoping the same with Jonathan, thought I do want him to remember a lot about Paris when he's older - but the good things - not just me scowling and calling out his name in anger. Lord, let it just be the good things and keep me from repeating this bad, stressed out, un-called for behavior!!!
I will say some early bonuses to being here are that the milk, the bread, the butter, the apple juice and the Lipton Peach Ice Tea are out of this world. AND we have an amazing pizza shop across the way. I've spent way too much for household items at the Monoprix around the corner - but I love that store. And the wine here is cheap with plentiful varieties at pretty much all the grocery stores in the area - however, I've primarily only shopped at the Franprix and Monoprix. Food in general is pretty expensive. I'm looking forward to Herve fixing the stove top and installing the convection/microwave so I can cook more - I've had about enough of eating out (and so has my budget). Jonathan just wants to eat yogurt (which is also very good here) and he's happy, but I'm fearing he's gonna be malnourished with all the frites, croque monsieur (melted cheese and ham on toasted bread), chicken nuggets and yogurts he's been eating. Lord help us!
More about the parks in the area in a future post - a lot of hit or misses here but where there are hits, they are big ones - Jonathan has had a ball!!!
I would love to be the blogger that post exciting pictures throughout the blog - and I might eventually get to that, but in the meantime, below is a link to some pics from our first week. (Update: This slideshow actually contains pics up through October 11):
And she was right.
This week has been hell. That's about the best way to describe it. I'm still straddling the decision of just packing up and going back to NJ - cutting my losses while I can, and just not caring about all the money and time already invested.
Why:
Well, without going into too much detail, here's a list of the stuff I've dealt with this week:
1. Go to get our luggage and Jonathan's stroller does not show up. I'm beside myself because there is no way I can navigate the airport and two train stations without it. I wait in line at the luggage service area for about an hour with a 3 year old who doesn't want to stand still and keeps running away for me to go after him, only to be finally told that the carriage is likely in the over-sized luggage area -- and indeed it was.
2. On the train rides, Jonathan is absolutely his insane self multiplied by 10 - likely due to jet lag, making it a stressful trip for me, because Europeans are extremely quiet and every extra sound sounds like an earthquake. I praise God that he made the Eurostar train trip seem like it was an hour rather than 3.5 hours. We got to Paris from London so fast - and Jonathan was loud, loud, loud the whole time - making one passenger get up and change his seat. However, the plane ride here was wonderful. He pretty much slept the whole way there and when awake, was quite pleasant.
3. All goes well getting to the hotel - a very nice hotel, in fact. But looks are deceiving. The first morning after we slept there, I notice bug bites on Jonathan's neck. Well, it was quite warm in Paris (it was all week until Sunday) so I thought it might just be mosquitoes or noseeums. Well, the next day, I wake up with bug bites on my body. Still didn't think too much of it. Finally, the last night, I had to scratch a bite on my stomach. At that point I'm thinking it must be bed bugs. I start to investigate, using the light from my cell phone. Lo and behold, i isolate the little bugger! I bring it to the front desk. They agree to not charge us for all the meals we've eaten (I had prepaid for the hotel room), but didn't refund the funds paid for the room. I don't fight it - I just want out of there and for them to launder the clothes that were not closed up in my suitcase. They do so. We leave to go to our scrubbed clean apartment.
4. Speaking of the apartment, we visit it on Monday and Herve is there and he is such a lovely man. So helpful and kind. I love the layout of the apartment. It's even nicer in person. However, it is FILTHY! Well, to my standards filthy. Herve has done his best to get it ready, but I have to spend Tuesday scrubbing, scrubbing, scrubbing it to get rid of 4 years of grime. However, praise God, it finally gets to where I'm comfortable. We move in on Wednesday.
5. The bed bug bites are over but the after effects plague us for the rest of the week. Even today I'm still scratching and we have marks and scars all over our bodies. I just feel disgusting.
6. My package of items that I sent via UPS - basically all of our clothes and shoes and coats and a lot of Jonathan's toys - have yet to arrive. They claim that the receiver name does not match who lives in the apartment. I tried to get that fixed today and was expecting a call from UPS at 4 EST - but missed it, in my funk about the phone getting shattered.
7. The very sweet Student Coordinator at the school willingly offered to help me with getting Jonathan enrolled at school and to get my bank account open here. However, I managed to miss both appointments to meet him - totally inconveniencing him. I managed to still do what I needed to do at the Marie, where the Lord fortunately blessed me with an English speaking rep who was very helpful (each arrondissement (district) in Paris has an administrative center to handle stuff like school enrollments called mairies). She informed me that I had to get Jonathan's birth certificate translated as well as the approval letter from his dad that he could be in Paris with me AND that I needed better proof that I was living where I said I was living than a copy of the lease. She suggested I purchase apartment insurance for that proof. I was also told I would need that to get cable and WiFi set up in the apartment. So, thankfully, Herve found a translator and I picked up the translations today in her lovely apartment in the 10th (the outside belied just how beautiful it would be on the inside - all white walls with red accents - a large red, farm-sized table from which she worked, a balcony covered with red gardenias, wide-planked oak floors, lightly patinaed with age - and she was lovely and so sweet). Herve also got me connected to his insurance agent, so I will get apartment insurance that way. I'll head back to the mairie on Wednesday to get Jonathan enrolled in school and hopefully he can start on Monday at the latest.
Update: Jonathan did not start school today as planned, which really hinders my ability to get started with my 15 page pre-test that I have to complete and the pre-reading for the first class - Exec Leadership - that starts on 10/2 - as well as the first assignment I have to do before class, which is watch "12 Angry Men" and answer some essay questions. I was hoping to tackle all of that this week. However, not possible with Jonathan in toe. However, maybe the Lord just wanted us to have another week together in the city at the start. Maybe I have to believe that as with everything else I've ever tackled the Lord is the one that's really doing the work. He'll get my class assignments done through me when it has to be done - I just have to be the hands and head and mouth that He works through. It's not me!
And about Jonathan and my subject line for this post: "Coming face to face with my flesh". I want to think that he is causing me stress with his misbehavior - not listening - ignoring me when I call him - running into traffic - having fits on trains - talking loud in public places - yelling and screeching in the apartment (and everywhere else). However, it's not him. He's just being an active, intelligent 3-year old who is bored silly. He wants the activity of school and being around other children. He needs it. He's a social butterfly who loves people. Even here he says hello to everyone (and not all French people are amenable to that - however, I've found that MOST are extremely kind and very helpful to mom's with children and absolutely dote on Jonathan - I am so grateful for their kindness).
Anyway, much of my stress and the inability to really negotiate all that has to be negotiated when you are getting acclimated and situated in a new culture has to do with straight up sinful, prideful, selfish Kim. Period. I suppose the Lord had to bring me across the pond to see just how much I need to be fixed in that area. Paris is TRULY crucifying my flesh - and I can only imagine how much more once I start classes.
Nonetheless, I regret how I've treated Jonathan all week. It's been hard to get anything done because he acts out everywhere we go. I also feel like he's in control and I'm the child. My activities are dictated by what he wants to do when he wants to. If he's finished eating, then I need to be finished, or we have a tantrum. If he wants to leave the store, then we have to leave or a tantrum - screaming, screeching, running away, falling down on the ground. However, like I said above - he's being a typical 3 - year old - maybe more strong-willed then most - and more spoiled - but me calling him names and slapping him so hard that he falls on the ground...well, there is no excuse for that, no matter how much he acts out.
I'm gonna do my best to receive the forgiveness from Jesus that He died on the cross to give me and keep it moving. I can't take back the words, the pushes or the hits (yeah, I've pushed him too this week - with his "Stop pushing me!" retorts) but the blood of Jesus can erase the effects. I have to believe so. I'm thankful that there is not much I remember before 4 years of age. I'm hoping the same with Jonathan, thought I do want him to remember a lot about Paris when he's older - but the good things - not just me scowling and calling out his name in anger. Lord, let it just be the good things and keep me from repeating this bad, stressed out, un-called for behavior!!!
I will say some early bonuses to being here are that the milk, the bread, the butter, the apple juice and the Lipton Peach Ice Tea are out of this world. AND we have an amazing pizza shop across the way. I've spent way too much for household items at the Monoprix around the corner - but I love that store. And the wine here is cheap with plentiful varieties at pretty much all the grocery stores in the area - however, I've primarily only shopped at the Franprix and Monoprix. Food in general is pretty expensive. I'm looking forward to Herve fixing the stove top and installing the convection/microwave so I can cook more - I've had about enough of eating out (and so has my budget). Jonathan just wants to eat yogurt (which is also very good here) and he's happy, but I'm fearing he's gonna be malnourished with all the frites, croque monsieur (melted cheese and ham on toasted bread), chicken nuggets and yogurts he's been eating. Lord help us!
More about the parks in the area in a future post - a lot of hit or misses here but where there are hits, they are big ones - Jonathan has had a ball!!!
I would love to be the blogger that post exciting pictures throughout the blog - and I might eventually get to that, but in the meantime, below is a link to some pics from our first week. (Update: This slideshow actually contains pics up through October 11):
Friday, September 12, 2014
Paris or bust!
So, tomorrow is the day. I can't believe we are but 20+ hours away from hitting the air and hopefully gliding over the pond to the UK {please, Lord Jesus, make it a SMOOOOTH, on time -- if not, accelerated flight!) and then a one hour train ride to st. pancras station and a nice three hour ride on the eurostar to Paris.
Praise God, the visas were ready today! All week, due to my father's sadness about us leaving and just my weird last minute misgivings, I've been telling myself that if the visas weren't ready, then we wouldn't go. I'd just chalk up what I've spent so far as a loss and take it as a sign that we simply are not supposed to go. Even though I still had this core assurance that I must follow through, the nerves were getting the best of me. But the visas were ready, so God's plans are moving forward. I do believe that. This ride we're on has nothing to do with any preconceived plans of my own. This is orchestrated by God to His glory and for His purposes. I've got to learn how to get out of the way and just rest and enjoy the view.
For our last day in NYC, we met with my best friend Lolita at her job near city hall, which really was a blessing. So glad she was able to take time away from her busy schedule to bid us a fond farewell. After that, we had an awesome lunch with a sweet, Godly woman from the online lifegroup I lead through my church (liquidchurch.com). Lourdes and I had a great time. She so blessed me. She was able to articulate the "why" of my assurance about going, even though I don't have absolute clarity on what will be accomplished through the grad pgm or my time with Jonathan overseas. She said that for everyone in my family to truly move forward, I have to leave. There are some things God needs to do but can't do until I'm obedient in this thing He has placed before me - as scary as it is right now for me. And I need to move forward to --- and Jonathan also needs to move forward. Uncanny how the Lord has managed to merge some deep, inner work in my family with the fulfilment of one of my dreams. That's our intricate, specific God for you!
After lunch, because it was such a beautiful day and because we were so close to the Brooklyn Bridge, Jonathan and I took one more stroll across the bridge down to Dumbo and the fun Pirate Park that's under the bridge. I took a cool video of Jonathan on a tire swing with a sweet little girl and would have posted it here, but my new phone - the one that I had to get after I dropped by Windows Go Phone - which was a replacement of another Windows Go Phone that died in May - which was the replacement of the 2nd iPhone that was stolen from me last year, and which I could not replace cause I don't have a legitmate AT&T upgrade scheduled till 2015 - well, it died. I just got it on Wednesday, so to say that I'm disappointed is saying the least I can at this point. I hope and pray that they'll replace the bad boy for free like the other phone. I got this one via this new plan that allows me to replace the phone in 18 months, and thus, allowed me to get an upgraded version of the Nokia Lumina Windows Phone with a nifty camera - great for taking pictures and videos like the great one I took today that is likely in the netherworld now. Oh well, just one minor glitch in a glorious day. Well...actually, there was one other thing.
At Penn Station, I managed, while doing my best to corral a very tired and fussy 3 year old, to book a UPS pickup of our stuff. I decided last week to unpack our huge, albatross of a suitcase and throw all that mess in a box. There's no way I'd be able to navigate an airport and two train stations with that suitcase, two book bags, a pillow pet, a lunch bag AND Jonathan. I figured the cost would be greatly mitigated by me not having a nervous breakdown trying to make all that work - and likely losing Jonathan in the process. That's actually one of my fears, that I will lose homeboy over there - though there are days when I wouldn't mind losing him...
Anyway, I booked the pick up for btwn 6-7 pm, knowing I'd be home by about 5:30 - just enough time to throw the remaining stuff in the box and seal it up good with tape. However, homeboy or gal must have had a hot date tonight, cause they arrived at 5:15. I wasn't there, so they left one of those UPS sticky notes saying they'd return on Monday. Well, if i want to make sure that Jonathan and I aren't wearing the same smelly underwear during the whole of our first week in Paris, that stuff needs to be in the air by tomorrow. I'm bringing the bare minium in our carry-on and checked baggage. Truth be told, what I primarily have packed are Jonathan's books and trains! Aint no way I'm going anywhere without those. I'd have to be on the next flight home if I left those in NJ (and Lawd please don't let them lose our luggage!)
As is stands now, I will, with the help of my awesome nephew, Anthony (who already did me the great favor of taking that heavy box down a narrow hallway and staircase with his girlfriend today while I was enroute back home from NYC), take it to the nearest UPS store tomorrow and ship it from there. And with that added task, our last official-official day in NJ before the move is getting packed, with the AT&T store visit, UPS store, breakfast with my brother and his wife, and visiting my dad - oh and stocking up on enough squeezable yogurt to last Jonathan till we officially move into the apt on Wed. It's all goodness, though - and all worthy of praise to God who allows even hinderances to bless us. I have to keep reminding myself of that to not get too stressed out!
Praise God, the visas were ready today! All week, due to my father's sadness about us leaving and just my weird last minute misgivings, I've been telling myself that if the visas weren't ready, then we wouldn't go. I'd just chalk up what I've spent so far as a loss and take it as a sign that we simply are not supposed to go. Even though I still had this core assurance that I must follow through, the nerves were getting the best of me. But the visas were ready, so God's plans are moving forward. I do believe that. This ride we're on has nothing to do with any preconceived plans of my own. This is orchestrated by God to His glory and for His purposes. I've got to learn how to get out of the way and just rest and enjoy the view.
For our last day in NYC, we met with my best friend Lolita at her job near city hall, which really was a blessing. So glad she was able to take time away from her busy schedule to bid us a fond farewell. After that, we had an awesome lunch with a sweet, Godly woman from the online lifegroup I lead through my church (liquidchurch.com). Lourdes and I had a great time. She so blessed me. She was able to articulate the "why" of my assurance about going, even though I don't have absolute clarity on what will be accomplished through the grad pgm or my time with Jonathan overseas. She said that for everyone in my family to truly move forward, I have to leave. There are some things God needs to do but can't do until I'm obedient in this thing He has placed before me - as scary as it is right now for me. And I need to move forward to --- and Jonathan also needs to move forward. Uncanny how the Lord has managed to merge some deep, inner work in my family with the fulfilment of one of my dreams. That's our intricate, specific God for you!
After lunch, because it was such a beautiful day and because we were so close to the Brooklyn Bridge, Jonathan and I took one more stroll across the bridge down to Dumbo and the fun Pirate Park that's under the bridge. I took a cool video of Jonathan on a tire swing with a sweet little girl and would have posted it here, but my new phone - the one that I had to get after I dropped by Windows Go Phone - which was a replacement of another Windows Go Phone that died in May - which was the replacement of the 2nd iPhone that was stolen from me last year, and which I could not replace cause I don't have a legitmate AT&T upgrade scheduled till 2015 - well, it died. I just got it on Wednesday, so to say that I'm disappointed is saying the least I can at this point. I hope and pray that they'll replace the bad boy for free like the other phone. I got this one via this new plan that allows me to replace the phone in 18 months, and thus, allowed me to get an upgraded version of the Nokia Lumina Windows Phone with a nifty camera - great for taking pictures and videos like the great one I took today that is likely in the netherworld now. Oh well, just one minor glitch in a glorious day. Well...actually, there was one other thing.
At Penn Station, I managed, while doing my best to corral a very tired and fussy 3 year old, to book a UPS pickup of our stuff. I decided last week to unpack our huge, albatross of a suitcase and throw all that mess in a box. There's no way I'd be able to navigate an airport and two train stations with that suitcase, two book bags, a pillow pet, a lunch bag AND Jonathan. I figured the cost would be greatly mitigated by me not having a nervous breakdown trying to make all that work - and likely losing Jonathan in the process. That's actually one of my fears, that I will lose homeboy over there - though there are days when I wouldn't mind losing him...
Anyway, I booked the pick up for btwn 6-7 pm, knowing I'd be home by about 5:30 - just enough time to throw the remaining stuff in the box and seal it up good with tape. However, homeboy or gal must have had a hot date tonight, cause they arrived at 5:15. I wasn't there, so they left one of those UPS sticky notes saying they'd return on Monday. Well, if i want to make sure that Jonathan and I aren't wearing the same smelly underwear during the whole of our first week in Paris, that stuff needs to be in the air by tomorrow. I'm bringing the bare minium in our carry-on and checked baggage. Truth be told, what I primarily have packed are Jonathan's books and trains! Aint no way I'm going anywhere without those. I'd have to be on the next flight home if I left those in NJ (and Lawd please don't let them lose our luggage!)
As is stands now, I will, with the help of my awesome nephew, Anthony (who already did me the great favor of taking that heavy box down a narrow hallway and staircase with his girlfriend today while I was enroute back home from NYC), take it to the nearest UPS store tomorrow and ship it from there. And with that added task, our last official-official day in NJ before the move is getting packed, with the AT&T store visit, UPS store, breakfast with my brother and his wife, and visiting my dad - oh and stocking up on enough squeezable yogurt to last Jonathan till we officially move into the apt on Wed. It's all goodness, though - and all worthy of praise to God who allows even hinderances to bless us. I have to keep reminding myself of that to not get too stressed out!
Monday, September 8, 2014
In six days...
...Jonathan and I will be in Paris.
Really??
Yeah, Paris. I don't want to waste a lot of time here with the full story of the why we are going (though I probably will), because, honestly, right now, I'm not absolutely sure. I thought I knew, but I don't. In fact, this very moment I'm actually wondering even if we should go. Primary reason: How the heck am I going to handle raising Jonathan in a foreign culture, where I do not speak the language, where he'll be going to a school where he won't understand the language either, so that I can complete a degree for which there is no real guarantee that it will help me to be more marketable once we return to the states - or - in terms of my initial decision to apply to the program - might not help me to achieve the ultimate dream of creating a foundation that supports individuals and organizations that are focused on meeting the spirtual and physical needs of the disadvantaged.
What am I doing?
Earlier this year, I was in a standstill. Not sure what to do next after a pretty traumatic year where my dad suffered a cervical spinal injury that was quite devastating at first (paralyzed from the neck down), but by the grace of God, has developed into him only having the limitation of a wheelchair, with the rest of my dad fully who he was before his unfortunate fall.
I had left IBM in January 2013 with dreams of spending some quality time with Jonathan and being accepted into one of the three PhD in Business programs that I had applied to in late 2012. I got rejected by all three. Then my father's injury and the time and effort related to his care, supporting my mom at home, and raising a toddler, who was diagnosed with a speech delay and who spent most of the year in an early intervention program, pretty much aced out the quality time with Jonathan and the time I thought I would have looking for an alternate career, since my PhD plans had not turned out as hoped.
I thank God that I left IBM, cause the reasons why I thought I was leaving really weren't the reasons the Lord let me go. He sees the end from the beginning, so he saw that my dad's fall was imminent and that I would be needed in a way that my former job would not have allowed. Plus, it turns out if I had not left, I likely would have been laid off, since most of my team, including the best manager I ever had in my whole working life, were laid off in July of 2013.
So, as I mentioned above, I was a standstill earlier this year. Not sure what to do next. My father was pretty settled in a good nursing home, Jonathan was out of early intervention and thriving in his new preschool, my mother was doing well, and my savings were dwindling. I needed to get a job or a new solution for a new career THAT WAS NOT INFORMATION TECHNOLOGY really, really soon.
In March, my In Touch Ministries montly devotional came in the mail and in it was an article written by Joan Ball. Now Joan Ball is a woman who I first encountered in 2012 at a Christian Inspirational seminar called The Collyde Summit. I was rivited by her bio and a simple statement she made about how the Lord always gives us work for which we are not prepared to do. Why? So we can depend completely upon him.
She gave the keynote address at the Summit and was so raw, funny and pinpoint insightful. Her love for Christ and the realness of her abiding relationship with him was captivating. I bought her memoir and read it that night - I did not sleep. She had had this Paul-like conversion experience which radically changed her life and her family's life (her husband too got radically saved). She had been a successful public relations executive and she quit all that to simply pursue Christ, and then through that pursuit, landed in a new career as a professor, eventually obtaining her PhD in Business.
I will admit that it was seeing Joan and reading her memoir which cemented my decision to leave IBM back in 2012, and inspired me to look into pursing a PhD in Business myself. Alas, the 2nd part didn't work out, but I am grateful for the extra push I got from hearing her story to finally leave what was KNOWN to face the big UNKNOWN.
So, here I was reading this article in the InTouch Devotional, and there were more of Joan's quotes related to pursing what you feel you should do and not being worried about if you're prepared to do it or not. And here I was again smack dab up against the big UNKNOWN looking for a way out. Then a thought came to mind: Where did Joan get her PhD? Maybe your dream of changing careers through graduate studies is not dead - go look at the St. Johns Web site (where Joan now teaches) and see where this woman got her PhD.
Now, a bit more background: In 2009, I traveled to London and while there, took the eurotrain to Paris for a one-day trip there. It was literally the most enchanting day of my life next to having Jonathan. Just magical. I walked the length of the city, ending at Notre Dame, after first encountering the majesty of the Eiffel Tower at Twilight. Just amazing. I fell in love - IN LOVE, and the seeds were planted then for a dream to one day be able to spend a longer season in that great city, whether for work or leisure. I never thought for education - but I'm getting ahead of myself here...
In May 2010, I went back for eight days with a girlfriend from work and we had the GREATEST time. Perfect weather every day. We ate like pigs. Drank wine at every meal, save breakfast (and would have if we had been a bit more bold), walked everywhere, and managed to both come home about five pounds lighter (five pounds that I quickly put back on, plus another 30+, because about a week after coming home was when I got knocked up with my sweet Jonathan; alas, another blog, another story...). Anyway, that trip further watered the seeds of my dream to one day LIVE in Paris.
Okay, so I go and check out the St. John's Web site. Turns out Joan got her PhD at this school called "The International School of Management". I go to the Web site. I'm entralled by the school, their approach to teaching, and of course, the location. However, at this point, my savings are dwindling, and though the PhD program appears to be a good one, it's also an expensive one, and I also no longer feel I have the time to waste trying to do that now. I need a job.
However, the MBA program...that was intriguing: Have to go to Paris to complete it. Can finish the coursework there in about 9 months and then return to states to attend a 2 week seminar in NYC and then finish the thesis stateside. If I focus and work the thesis during my 9 months there, I could be done in about a year (though you are given a total of 18 months from program onset to thesis completion). And the MBA is WAY cheaper. This is starting to make a lot of sense to me.
And then I stop myself.
How are you going to do graduate school without some sort of support system? Do you really think you can take Jonathan all the way to Paris and care for him and go to school at the same time? How could you even think about taking him away from your mom? They're so close! And how selfish to want to leave your parents here when they are in great need - you're dad's in a nursing home. Your mom needs your help at home?!
So I squashed it.
Earlier this year, I had started going to Christian therapy cause I really wanted a bit of help with handling Jonathan and dealing with my anger at his rambunctioness, and just dealing with overall stress and I suppose depression. I'm premenapausal, so that wasn't helping any. I'd gained a lot of weight in less than a year, my hair was thinning, my skin was a mess - I was a mess. I needed to talk to someone.
In our first visit, the therapist asked me if there was anything I ever wanted to do and had no restrictions, what would it be. Of course, I said: Move to Paris. We then discussed how I might be able to do it. I mentioned ESL and she said maybe I should look into it. Well, I did, but got unexcited very quickly about that being an option.
After my ISM dreams were squashed, I went to a session mentioning how I had looked into the program but decided not to pursue it, based on all the stuff I mentioned above. Vonetta looked me square in the eye and said "Isn't this what you said was the one thing you really want to do: Live in Paris? It seems that the doors are opening for this to happen. God will take care of your family and Jonathan and you. Go ahead and at least apply to see what happens."
And so I did. And I got accepted. And I got a 50% scholarship. And I decided to take a chance and accept the acceptance. And the Lord kept opening doors:
A great affordable apartment, with a cute, but very dependable and extremely nice owner, name Herve, in what turns out to be a family oriented neighborhood in the 19th arrondissement...
A French preschool s right across the street from the apartment (France has state run preschool that starts for all 3 year olds who are potty trained; it is one of the best preschool systems in the world, and it's FREE; okay - Jonathan is still getting pooped trained, so he's not 100%, but I'm just praying, praying --Lord God, please PLEASE -- get him all the way trained before September 22, when he's supposed to start school there!)...
The Lord blessed me with a 9-week temp assignment after months of trying to get something, even temp work, which perfectly fit the time slot between when I finally accepted the invite to the program and when we need to leave for Paris...
I got two one-way tickets for only 870 (though, we still have to take two trains from UK to Paris, which Jonathan will love). All in all, the travel cost are a fraction of what it would have cost for me to get two one way tickets directly to Paris and I'd much prefer a short flight and two trains than one long flight with an active toddler like Jonathan...
I was blessed with a very easy visa appointment at the French Consulate in NYC, which is known to be a very caustic place, with very disagreeable agents, and we were granted our visas without a hitch (and I was even missing a very important copy of something (the agent let me slide!)). Okay, there is one slight hitch: The visa won't be ready- at the earliest - until the DAY BEFORE we're supposed to leave, but I'm at peace. They WILL be ready. Pluse, we get blessed with another reason to go to NYC to spend the day there - woop woop!
Kay, Jonathan's dad, is very supportive and has no problem with me taking Jonathan overseas...
And my parents: Well, my father was the first I told and he was very supportive at the time, though the past couple of weeks, he's been a bit weepy and sad about it, which isn't helping with the doubt that I alluded to all the way at the top of this long entry! My mom was sketchy at first and upset - even going to an appointment with Kay (he's her cardiologist and primary care physician), pleading with him to tell me that I can't take Jonathan to Paris! However, now she's very cool - and because Jonathan, with each passing day, is turning into a holy terror (more on that in another entry...honestly, I'm afraid, I'll end up back here in the states just because the French School tells me to take him out of there an never come back!), she's sorta looking forward to a bit of peace and quiet --- she'll miss him terribly, but the 6:30 wake up calls "Nana, it's time to get up!" are wearing on her...
So, yes, we're going to Paris. Yes, I thought I knew why, but now I'm not so sure. I don't know if I can handle Jonathan on my own. I don't know if I can do this school work. I don't know if I can negotiate living in this city barely speaking the language. I don't know if I'll like our little studio and the neighborhood and the neighbors. Don't know if I'll like French people when I'm no longer just a tourist. Don't know if Jonathan will scream bloodly murder for the first few months we're there and absoutely hate the school - or - as mentioned above, they can't handle him! I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
All I know is that the Lord has opened the door - and I'm walking through it. I also know that I took the plunge and did the unthinkable by hitting my 401k (oh no you didn't?! Oh yes I did!), and there's no turning back. Now I might end up back here earlier, but my intentions are to tough it out, under this thick cloud of UNKNOWN, and believe in faith the the Lord WILL take care of everthing and everyone and that we're all gonna grow and be better for this time than if I had not done it at all. I know that He loves me and Jonathan and He will work all things for our good and to His glory.
I know that I have to do this.
So come on! Join us for the ride. I'm sure it's gonna be a doozy!
Really??
Yeah, Paris. I don't want to waste a lot of time here with the full story of the why we are going (though I probably will), because, honestly, right now, I'm not absolutely sure. I thought I knew, but I don't. In fact, this very moment I'm actually wondering even if we should go. Primary reason: How the heck am I going to handle raising Jonathan in a foreign culture, where I do not speak the language, where he'll be going to a school where he won't understand the language either, so that I can complete a degree for which there is no real guarantee that it will help me to be more marketable once we return to the states - or - in terms of my initial decision to apply to the program - might not help me to achieve the ultimate dream of creating a foundation that supports individuals and organizations that are focused on meeting the spirtual and physical needs of the disadvantaged.
What am I doing?
Earlier this year, I was in a standstill. Not sure what to do next after a pretty traumatic year where my dad suffered a cervical spinal injury that was quite devastating at first (paralyzed from the neck down), but by the grace of God, has developed into him only having the limitation of a wheelchair, with the rest of my dad fully who he was before his unfortunate fall.
I had left IBM in January 2013 with dreams of spending some quality time with Jonathan and being accepted into one of the three PhD in Business programs that I had applied to in late 2012. I got rejected by all three. Then my father's injury and the time and effort related to his care, supporting my mom at home, and raising a toddler, who was diagnosed with a speech delay and who spent most of the year in an early intervention program, pretty much aced out the quality time with Jonathan and the time I thought I would have looking for an alternate career, since my PhD plans had not turned out as hoped.
I thank God that I left IBM, cause the reasons why I thought I was leaving really weren't the reasons the Lord let me go. He sees the end from the beginning, so he saw that my dad's fall was imminent and that I would be needed in a way that my former job would not have allowed. Plus, it turns out if I had not left, I likely would have been laid off, since most of my team, including the best manager I ever had in my whole working life, were laid off in July of 2013.
So, as I mentioned above, I was a standstill earlier this year. Not sure what to do next. My father was pretty settled in a good nursing home, Jonathan was out of early intervention and thriving in his new preschool, my mother was doing well, and my savings were dwindling. I needed to get a job or a new solution for a new career THAT WAS NOT INFORMATION TECHNOLOGY really, really soon.
In March, my In Touch Ministries montly devotional came in the mail and in it was an article written by Joan Ball. Now Joan Ball is a woman who I first encountered in 2012 at a Christian Inspirational seminar called The Collyde Summit. I was rivited by her bio and a simple statement she made about how the Lord always gives us work for which we are not prepared to do. Why? So we can depend completely upon him.
She gave the keynote address at the Summit and was so raw, funny and pinpoint insightful. Her love for Christ and the realness of her abiding relationship with him was captivating. I bought her memoir and read it that night - I did not sleep. She had had this Paul-like conversion experience which radically changed her life and her family's life (her husband too got radically saved). She had been a successful public relations executive and she quit all that to simply pursue Christ, and then through that pursuit, landed in a new career as a professor, eventually obtaining her PhD in Business.
I will admit that it was seeing Joan and reading her memoir which cemented my decision to leave IBM back in 2012, and inspired me to look into pursing a PhD in Business myself. Alas, the 2nd part didn't work out, but I am grateful for the extra push I got from hearing her story to finally leave what was KNOWN to face the big UNKNOWN.
So, here I was reading this article in the InTouch Devotional, and there were more of Joan's quotes related to pursing what you feel you should do and not being worried about if you're prepared to do it or not. And here I was again smack dab up against the big UNKNOWN looking for a way out. Then a thought came to mind: Where did Joan get her PhD? Maybe your dream of changing careers through graduate studies is not dead - go look at the St. Johns Web site (where Joan now teaches) and see where this woman got her PhD.
Now, a bit more background: In 2009, I traveled to London and while there, took the eurotrain to Paris for a one-day trip there. It was literally the most enchanting day of my life next to having Jonathan. Just magical. I walked the length of the city, ending at Notre Dame, after first encountering the majesty of the Eiffel Tower at Twilight. Just amazing. I fell in love - IN LOVE, and the seeds were planted then for a dream to one day be able to spend a longer season in that great city, whether for work or leisure. I never thought for education - but I'm getting ahead of myself here...
In May 2010, I went back for eight days with a girlfriend from work and we had the GREATEST time. Perfect weather every day. We ate like pigs. Drank wine at every meal, save breakfast (and would have if we had been a bit more bold), walked everywhere, and managed to both come home about five pounds lighter (five pounds that I quickly put back on, plus another 30+, because about a week after coming home was when I got knocked up with my sweet Jonathan; alas, another blog, another story...). Anyway, that trip further watered the seeds of my dream to one day LIVE in Paris.
Okay, so I go and check out the St. John's Web site. Turns out Joan got her PhD at this school called "The International School of Management". I go to the Web site. I'm entralled by the school, their approach to teaching, and of course, the location. However, at this point, my savings are dwindling, and though the PhD program appears to be a good one, it's also an expensive one, and I also no longer feel I have the time to waste trying to do that now. I need a job.
However, the MBA program...that was intriguing: Have to go to Paris to complete it. Can finish the coursework there in about 9 months and then return to states to attend a 2 week seminar in NYC and then finish the thesis stateside. If I focus and work the thesis during my 9 months there, I could be done in about a year (though you are given a total of 18 months from program onset to thesis completion). And the MBA is WAY cheaper. This is starting to make a lot of sense to me.
And then I stop myself.
How are you going to do graduate school without some sort of support system? Do you really think you can take Jonathan all the way to Paris and care for him and go to school at the same time? How could you even think about taking him away from your mom? They're so close! And how selfish to want to leave your parents here when they are in great need - you're dad's in a nursing home. Your mom needs your help at home?!
So I squashed it.
Earlier this year, I had started going to Christian therapy cause I really wanted a bit of help with handling Jonathan and dealing with my anger at his rambunctioness, and just dealing with overall stress and I suppose depression. I'm premenapausal, so that wasn't helping any. I'd gained a lot of weight in less than a year, my hair was thinning, my skin was a mess - I was a mess. I needed to talk to someone.
In our first visit, the therapist asked me if there was anything I ever wanted to do and had no restrictions, what would it be. Of course, I said: Move to Paris. We then discussed how I might be able to do it. I mentioned ESL and she said maybe I should look into it. Well, I did, but got unexcited very quickly about that being an option.
After my ISM dreams were squashed, I went to a session mentioning how I had looked into the program but decided not to pursue it, based on all the stuff I mentioned above. Vonetta looked me square in the eye and said "Isn't this what you said was the one thing you really want to do: Live in Paris? It seems that the doors are opening for this to happen. God will take care of your family and Jonathan and you. Go ahead and at least apply to see what happens."
And so I did. And I got accepted. And I got a 50% scholarship. And I decided to take a chance and accept the acceptance. And the Lord kept opening doors:
A great affordable apartment, with a cute, but very dependable and extremely nice owner, name Herve, in what turns out to be a family oriented neighborhood in the 19th arrondissement...
A French preschool s right across the street from the apartment (France has state run preschool that starts for all 3 year olds who are potty trained; it is one of the best preschool systems in the world, and it's FREE; okay - Jonathan is still getting pooped trained, so he's not 100%, but I'm just praying, praying --Lord God, please PLEASE -- get him all the way trained before September 22, when he's supposed to start school there!)...
The Lord blessed me with a 9-week temp assignment after months of trying to get something, even temp work, which perfectly fit the time slot between when I finally accepted the invite to the program and when we need to leave for Paris...
I got two one-way tickets for only 870 (though, we still have to take two trains from UK to Paris, which Jonathan will love). All in all, the travel cost are a fraction of what it would have cost for me to get two one way tickets directly to Paris and I'd much prefer a short flight and two trains than one long flight with an active toddler like Jonathan...
I was blessed with a very easy visa appointment at the French Consulate in NYC, which is known to be a very caustic place, with very disagreeable agents, and we were granted our visas without a hitch (and I was even missing a very important copy of something (the agent let me slide!)). Okay, there is one slight hitch: The visa won't be ready- at the earliest - until the DAY BEFORE we're supposed to leave, but I'm at peace. They WILL be ready. Pluse, we get blessed with another reason to go to NYC to spend the day there - woop woop!
Kay, Jonathan's dad, is very supportive and has no problem with me taking Jonathan overseas...
And my parents: Well, my father was the first I told and he was very supportive at the time, though the past couple of weeks, he's been a bit weepy and sad about it, which isn't helping with the doubt that I alluded to all the way at the top of this long entry! My mom was sketchy at first and upset - even going to an appointment with Kay (he's her cardiologist and primary care physician), pleading with him to tell me that I can't take Jonathan to Paris! However, now she's very cool - and because Jonathan, with each passing day, is turning into a holy terror (more on that in another entry...honestly, I'm afraid, I'll end up back here in the states just because the French School tells me to take him out of there an never come back!), she's sorta looking forward to a bit of peace and quiet --- she'll miss him terribly, but the 6:30 wake up calls "Nana, it's time to get up!" are wearing on her...
So, yes, we're going to Paris. Yes, I thought I knew why, but now I'm not so sure. I don't know if I can handle Jonathan on my own. I don't know if I can do this school work. I don't know if I can negotiate living in this city barely speaking the language. I don't know if I'll like our little studio and the neighborhood and the neighbors. Don't know if I'll like French people when I'm no longer just a tourist. Don't know if Jonathan will scream bloodly murder for the first few months we're there and absoutely hate the school - or - as mentioned above, they can't handle him! I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
All I know is that the Lord has opened the door - and I'm walking through it. I also know that I took the plunge and did the unthinkable by hitting my 401k (oh no you didn't?! Oh yes I did!), and there's no turning back. Now I might end up back here earlier, but my intentions are to tough it out, under this thick cloud of UNKNOWN, and believe in faith the the Lord WILL take care of everthing and everyone and that we're all gonna grow and be better for this time than if I had not done it at all. I know that He loves me and Jonathan and He will work all things for our good and to His glory.
I know that I have to do this.
So come on! Join us for the ride. I'm sure it's gonna be a doozy!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)