So, it has now been a full week that we have been in Paris. I thought I would give a low down on all the details of our journey here and the many events that took place from the point we landed until now - but it's all quite sordid, to tell you the truth. Well, sordid mainly because I've been dealing with a lot of anger, frustration, disappointment, fear, dread, regret, and just about every negative emotion that a person could deal with in one week without having a nervous breakdown. I think I actually might have had one today. Jonathan, being his rambunctious, out of control self - which he has been all week - knocked my new cell phone out of my hand (the one that is now working - praise God - just needed to be charged) and completely cracked the screen. All of my frustration over the past week came to the head and I knocked him down with a slap - in the street - called him an idiot out loud - picked him up and threw him in a chair - and then got reprimanded by a young woman who told me to stop abusing my child - it's only a phone.
And she was right.
This week has been hell. That's about the best way to describe it. I'm still straddling the decision of just packing up and going back to NJ - cutting my losses while I can, and just not caring about all the money and time already invested.
Why:
Well, without going into too much detail, here's a list of the stuff I've dealt with this week:
1. Go to get our luggage and Jonathan's stroller does not show up. I'm beside myself because there is no way I can navigate the airport and two train stations without it. I wait in line at the luggage service area for about an hour with a 3 year old who doesn't want to stand still and keeps running away for me to go after him, only to be finally told that the carriage is likely in the over-sized luggage area -- and indeed it was.
2. On the train rides, Jonathan is absolutely his insane self multiplied by 10 - likely due to jet lag, making it a stressful trip for me, because Europeans are extremely quiet and every extra sound sounds like an earthquake. I praise God that he made the Eurostar train trip seem like it was an hour rather than 3.5 hours. We got to Paris from London so fast - and Jonathan was loud, loud, loud the whole time - making one passenger get up and change his seat. However, the plane ride here was wonderful. He pretty much slept the whole way there and when awake, was quite pleasant.
3. All goes well getting to the hotel - a very nice hotel, in fact. But looks are deceiving. The first morning after we slept there, I notice bug bites on Jonathan's neck. Well, it was quite warm in Paris (it was all week until Sunday) so I thought it might just be mosquitoes or noseeums. Well, the next day, I wake up with bug bites on my body. Still didn't think too much of it. Finally, the last night, I had to scratch a bite on my stomach. At that point I'm thinking it must be bed bugs. I start to investigate, using the light from my cell phone. Lo and behold, i isolate the little bugger! I bring it to the front desk. They agree to not charge us for all the meals we've eaten (I had prepaid for the hotel room), but didn't refund the funds paid for the room. I don't fight it - I just want out of there and for them to launder the clothes that were not closed up in my suitcase. They do so. We leave to go to our scrubbed clean apartment.
4. Speaking of the apartment, we visit it on Monday and Herve is there and he is such a lovely man. So helpful and kind. I love the layout of the apartment. It's even nicer in person. However, it is FILTHY! Well, to my standards filthy. Herve has done his best to get it ready, but I have to spend Tuesday scrubbing, scrubbing, scrubbing it to get rid of 4 years of grime. However, praise God, it finally gets to where I'm comfortable. We move in on Wednesday.
5. The bed bug bites are over but the after effects plague us for the rest of the week. Even today I'm still scratching and we have marks and scars all over our bodies. I just feel disgusting.
6. My package of items that I sent via UPS - basically all of our clothes and shoes and coats and a lot of Jonathan's toys - have yet to arrive. They claim that the receiver name does not match who lives in the apartment. I tried to get that fixed today and was expecting a call from UPS at 4 EST - but missed it, in my funk about the phone getting shattered.
7. The very sweet Student Coordinator at the school willingly offered to help me with getting Jonathan enrolled at school and to get my bank account open here. However, I managed to miss both appointments to meet him - totally inconveniencing him. I managed to still do what I needed to do at the Marie, where the Lord fortunately blessed me with an English speaking rep who was very helpful (each arrondissement (district) in Paris has an administrative center to handle stuff like school enrollments called mairies). She informed me that I had to get Jonathan's birth certificate translated as well as the approval letter from his dad that he could be in Paris with me AND that I needed better proof that I was living where I said I was living than a copy of the lease. She suggested I purchase apartment insurance for that proof. I was also told I would need that to get cable and WiFi set up in the apartment. So, thankfully, Herve found a translator and I picked up the translations today in her lovely apartment in the 10th (the outside belied just how beautiful it would be on the inside - all white walls with red accents - a large red, farm-sized table from which she worked, a balcony covered with red gardenias, wide-planked oak floors, lightly patinaed with age - and she was lovely and so sweet). Herve also got me connected to his insurance agent, so I will get apartment insurance that way. I'll head back to the mairie on Wednesday to get Jonathan enrolled in school and hopefully he can start on Monday at the latest.
Update: Jonathan did not start school today as planned, which really hinders my ability to get started with my 15 page pre-test that I have to complete and the pre-reading for the first class - Exec Leadership - that starts on 10/2 - as well as the first assignment I have to do before class, which is watch "12 Angry Men" and answer some essay questions. I was hoping to tackle all of that this week. However, not possible with Jonathan in toe. However, maybe the Lord just wanted us to have another week together in the city at the start. Maybe I have to believe that as with everything else I've ever tackled the Lord is the one that's really doing the work. He'll get my class assignments done through me when it has to be done - I just have to be the hands and head and mouth that He works through. It's not me!
And about Jonathan and my subject line for this post: "Coming face to face with my flesh". I want to think that he is causing me stress with his misbehavior - not listening - ignoring me when I call him - running into traffic - having fits on trains - talking loud in public places - yelling and screeching in the apartment (and everywhere else). However, it's not him. He's just being an active, intelligent 3-year old who is bored silly. He wants the activity of school and being around other children. He needs it. He's a social butterfly who loves people. Even here he says hello to everyone (and not all French people are amenable to that - however, I've found that MOST are extremely kind and very helpful to mom's with children and absolutely dote on Jonathan - I am so grateful for their kindness).
Anyway, much of my stress and the inability to really negotiate all that has to be negotiated when you are getting acclimated and situated in a new culture has to do with straight up sinful, prideful, selfish Kim. Period. I suppose the Lord had to bring me across the pond to see just how much I need to be fixed in that area. Paris is TRULY crucifying my flesh - and I can only imagine how much more once I start classes.
Nonetheless, I regret how I've treated Jonathan all week. It's been hard to get anything done because he acts out everywhere we go. I also feel like he's in control and I'm the child. My activities are dictated by what he wants to do when he wants to. If he's finished eating, then I need to be finished, or we have a tantrum. If he wants to leave the store, then we have to leave or a tantrum - screaming, screeching, running away, falling down on the ground. However, like I said above - he's being a typical 3 - year old - maybe more strong-willed then most - and more spoiled - but me calling him names and slapping him so hard that he falls on the ground...well, there is no excuse for that, no matter how much he acts out.
I'm gonna do my best to receive the forgiveness from Jesus that He died on the cross to give me and keep it moving. I can't take back the words, the pushes or the hits (yeah, I've pushed him too this week - with his "Stop pushing me!" retorts) but the blood of Jesus can erase the effects. I have to believe so. I'm thankful that there is not much I remember before 4 years of age. I'm hoping the same with Jonathan, thought I do want him to remember a lot about Paris when he's older - but the good things - not just me scowling and calling out his name in anger. Lord, let it just be the good things and keep me from repeating this bad, stressed out, un-called for behavior!!!
I will say some early bonuses to being here are that the milk, the bread, the butter, the apple juice and the Lipton Peach Ice Tea are out of this world. AND we have an amazing pizza shop across the way. I've spent way too much for household items at the Monoprix around the corner - but I love that store. And the wine here is cheap with plentiful varieties at pretty much all the grocery stores in the area - however, I've primarily only shopped at the Franprix and Monoprix. Food in general is pretty expensive. I'm looking forward to Herve fixing the stove top and installing the convection/microwave so I can cook more - I've had about enough of eating out (and so has my budget). Jonathan just wants to eat yogurt (which is also very good here) and he's happy, but I'm fearing he's gonna be malnourished with all the frites, croque monsieur (melted cheese and ham on toasted bread), chicken nuggets and yogurts he's been eating. Lord help us!
More about the parks in the area in a future post - a lot of hit or misses here but where there are hits, they are big ones - Jonathan has had a ball!!!
I would love to be the blogger that post exciting pictures throughout the blog - and I might eventually get to that, but in the meantime, below is a link to some pics from our first week. (Update: This slideshow actually contains pics up through October 11):
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